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Spousal secrets aren't so secret in today's tech-driven world

Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted that he had secretly been supporting the child he had with his housekeeper. New York residents may not find this a surprise since rumors of infidelity have lingered around the celebrity former governor for years. Many may also not be surprised that the secret eventually came out and that it contributed to his divorce.

In today's world, keeping secrets is more difficult to do because of advances and easy availability of surveillance technology. It may no longer be necessary to hire a private investigator to follow a spouse suspected of infidelity, or rifle through their pockets to figure out if there's a problem. These days, the web of lies and deceptions can often be traced, and easily so, through a home computer. Of all of the secrets spouses may keep from each other, the most prominent one is still the extramarital affair.

The damage that secrets can do isn't only limited to a married couple. When deception is discovered, the aftermath can end up hurting a couple's children as well. Most parents hope their children aren't touched by their problems, but the fact is that children are smarter than we give them credit for. The simple truth is that if the secret leads to a divorce, the children will most likely find out about it.

Discovering that a spouse has been keeping secrets can lead to hurt feelings and anger. What the injured spouse decides to do next can affect the family for years to come. Deciding to get a divorce is not an easy decision, but once the decision is made, seeking advice on how to get through the New York divorce process most effectively may be the next step.

Source: Chicago Tribune, "Secrecy a common thread in most divorces," Bonnie Miller Rubin, Oct. 10, 2012