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Co-parenting post-divorce isn't always easy for New York couples

Co-parenting after a divorce isn't always easy. Many New York couples still have unresolved issues with each other that can get in the way. Being able to put aside those feelings of anger, hurt and resentment that lead to the divorce can be difficult, but the rewards in the long run may be worth it.

Most parents in New York want what's best for their children. Even when a couple divorces, that simple fact doesn't change. Unfortunately, it may be difficult to let go of the conflict that ended the marriage, and that can keep the family from moving on and settling into their new circumstances. Making a conscious effort to work together is the first step to helping that transition.

Working together on a child custody agreement that both parties can live with can be a daunting task at first. Viewing their new parenting situation as a business arrangement may help get the ball rolling. Creating a child custody agreement that attempts to anticipate potential problems will take honest negotiation and commitment.

When New York parents find themselves facing divorce, negotiating seemingly simple things like birthdays, holidays, sporting events, tardiness, and even discipline into an amicable custody agreement may go a long way to avoiding conflict in the future. It will take time for everyone in the family to heal, and the more a couple can do up front to prevent conflicts down the road, the better. For some, it may seem callous to reduce their parenting to the four corners of a piece of paper, but they may be glad they did the next time a problem arises. Having an agreement won't only benefit the parents, but it may also benefit the children since their parents aren't constantly arguing.

Source: Deseret News, "Parenting under two roofs: Focusing on the children after divorce," Rachel Lowry, Oct. 21, 2012