Many people in New York can attest to the fact that panic is often one
of the first emotions when they hear that their spouse wants a divorce.
There are so many uncertainties that accompany getting a
divorce that it would be easy to freeze and just let it happen. Instead of doing
that, finding out what rights and responsibilities each party has to one
another and any children may need to be a priority.
Having answers to even the most basic questions can help eliminate at least
some of the fear that some people may feel during the process. Having
the knowledge of what can and can't be done during a divorce may also
keep one spouse from intimidating the other. There are spouses out there
that would use one party's ignorance of the process to his or her
advantage and elicit cooperation from the other party when it's not
Money is an important issue in a divorce. If one party has to borrow money
for their representation, it may be a good idea not to get that money
from family since it may jeopardize being reimbursed for those fees later
on. Another important step is to figure out exactly how much money it
will take to run a separate household; especially if there are children
involved. Having a budget can help when negotiating child support and
spousal maintenance so that all concerns are handled the first time as
much as possible. Having to go back to court later on could be problematic
for some people.
It may also be a good idea not to pursue another relationship until the
divorce process is complete. Becoming involved in a relationship during
a divorce could inadvertently sabotage otherwise amicable settlement negotiations.
Many couples in New York have ended up inside a courtroom because negotiations
have broken down for whatever reason. The fewer reasons the parties have
to argue, the smoother negotiations can be.
Source: Huffington Post, "The Stir: 6 Biggest Mistakes Moms Make in a Divorce," March 16, 2013